Quentins.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

nuts.

feeling pretty down lately. the mind's darting off in many different directions at any one time. i juz cant get it to stabilise and nt think bout rubbish for a moment. things juz dun seem to go my way at all. plae fifa i lose to birmingham, plae dota i lost to a bunch of noobs, plae soccer im a piece of crap, iceskating i move like a disabled old man. even when i plae my guitar 1 of strings juz break. this is juz nt my week at all.

I have recently taken up an interest in horoscope. when u enter all the specific details like where i was born , birth date all these kinda thing into some website call http://horoscopes.astrology.com/, the results are quite accurate. u all shld go try it if u all r bored. go click on the free readings tab. theres stuffs like friendships, love,parents,siblings. i asked some of frens to try it n all of them said its pretty accurate. i tried entering all the super specific details about in 1 particular reading like birth time, blood type and geological positioning. theres 1 funny thing tt came out bout me is tt i gt natural unique ability to understand another person's inner self even if i may nt notice what shirt they are wearing or if they are carrying bags or not. i tink its crap. maybe its due to my nature i will tink deeper into everything bt most of the time it is nt be accurate. juz leave things tt way and it would stop giving all those sleepless nites. letting things be as simple as it seems is a much desirable choice. i would always tend to dwell unconsciously into simple things and onli make myself sadder and worry in the progress.

sometimes its realli impt to obey the law of spiritual detachment. its like the more you try to cling onto smth, the harder it is for it the manifest naturally into ur life. so its inevitable tt you muz learn to let go at some point along the way no matter how hard it is.

everytime when im at home alone i always get this feeling of emptiness that is hard to shake off. sure i have lots of good friends i can talk to bt i juz cant bring myself to burden them wif these senseless problems of mine. sometimes burying it deep down may be a much much better option.
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Life is like a game of dota. It has so many similarities and links that I realize suddenly during this cold rainy week. It’s the process that really count in this game. Im nt saying winning and losing doesn’t matter bt it is the process tt realli matters after 1 good game of dota.

First of all, u can choose whether to go all random or all pick. If u choose all random, it will be unpredictable in the sense that u wun noe wad heroes u will b getting. in all pick, u will b choosing the heroes u r gd n confident wif using. In life its sort of the same thing too, either u choose to embark on the path of uncertainties bt exciting or walk along the safe path which the road ahead is clear bt boring.

Then deres the game itself. Either u choose to be the bastard farmer of the team or the team player. Each has its own pros n cons. Being a bastard farmer u will sacrifice the welfare of the team to empower yourself wif the experience n gold earned. With the money n level, u will be the one ppl look upon to change the face of the game. Pull it off n ppl will respect u, fail and u will get despised. Team player is often the common path chosen by many players. Safe and secure. U wun affect the outcome of the game. U r juz like the many roots of a tree tts hidden below the ground whereas a bastard is a trunk that people look at to c whether this entire tree is strong or nt. Its juz like getting a job in the future. Choose to be an entrepreneur and u will be like a bastard farmer. Either u earn the cash or u end up wif nothing. Be a good employee wif a standard n stable job, u wun go wrong bt its abit dull isn’t it.

When playing the game, players are separated into pros n noobs. Pros pawn the noobs. in a relationship, the pros are faster quicker and more experienced with the game so that they can pawn the noobs for their own pleasure. To level and gain gold. So the nxt time noobs will b hearing their name being mentioned in rejected or dumped or played with list in a truth or dare game. It’s the same thing isn’t it. The sense of dejection and stupidity when u hear HOLY SHIT booming from ur speaker and u r the dead hero. Noobs shld nv mess with the pros. The onli reason pros plae wif noobs is either they truly want to help them improve bt most of time is juz to prove they are a class higher than them. Out of boredom or juz feel like having fun, tts the time pros plae wif the noobs.

Sometimes u get the feeling the whole world is against you and the helpless feeling will naturally surface. Its like having all ur barracks raxed down and there are mega creeps. It would take a miracle to even survive for 5mins after mega creeps are formed let alone turn the tide arnd to win the game.

Many a times we make mistakes in life and make stupid wrong decisions. Buying battlefury for medusa, blink dagger for skeleton king. Ppl will remember them and use it against you for the entire lifetime. You juz wish to forget these anomalies in life bt it will cling on to u. it will b hard to let go n forget. Theres nth much u can do except letting time do its job n let tt bad piece of memory fade by itself.

nobody knows it hurts

left silently at ... 6:51 PM

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