the dark humour within such somber. life sure has its ways of telling a joke. having an impertuable composure when facing pandemonium right in front of our eyes take great pains. The pains of hiding it from our sight. The pains of running away from it, refusing to acknowledge its existence.
what is the seventh heaven? is it nothing but a deceit we allow ourselves to indulge in. being satisfied with imparity, smiling in face of asperity, arent all these detractions we brought upon ourselves. and yet time and time again, we get deceived. is it because of our warped logic, or is it just because of the fact we are fools.
Many a times we hear of a truth, but we refuse to listen to it. Many a times we see whats really happening, but we just refuse to look at them. It is simple. We are humans. We listen to what we like and only look at things the way we want them to be.
The more i see, the less i know. These words sound so simple. They mock: how can we fathom less with the increase in our contemplation. Jokes, jokes. I applaud your sanguine perspective of life. but please, not to the extent of being fleeceable. look around you. do you really know the people around you? are they who you make them up to be? wake up my friends. i may seem skeptical about the word trust. but simply trust me, i have seen them, heard them, been through them.
It is your prerogative to do what you want. Inflict your own wounds, drop your own tears. learn. and take it within your stride.
Change the world. Or live with it.
left silently at ... 4:01 AM
It leeches on the hope
Thrive on your foolishness
Paths merge
But crossroads they merely were
Blinded by the neon lights
Eyes that cant seem to see
Stung by optimism
Hearts that fail to beat
Impregnable the fortress may seem
Loops and holes are all around
Beautiful the sandy beach
Pain beholds if you dwell too deep
Who are you to judge
Guilty you are as them
How are you to judge
The thought prevalent in your head
Only time can judge
And it always does
left silently at ... 9:15 AM
its 2007. 2006 passed too fast. it seems like ytd i was in my og group laming with fiong fan. nw im a j2 watching the new j1s playing the dumb games we used to plae.
yea juz gonna mention ppl tt realli helped me in one wae or another throughout the entire year.
First up, who else other than the weekly joga gang.
loser lee aka vidic--- rubbish guy full of crap. likes to give girls false hope. still among the best soccer players i noe although i hate to admit it. enjoys the art of whipping. tiffany the toy. bt still a very gd fren and a pal.
owenhonigo--- very very nice guy. most versatile player i noe. can excel n in any single position he plaes. super physical abilities. loves misa.
drogba--- bitch. hes the only person tt can make me laugh by saying totally random stuffs out of nowhere. infatutated with misa. silky dribbling skills and a very deadly finisher.
mouxiao,ber, crouch, yh --- great frens hu i feel at ease with.
next up, is my unique n rubbish class of 06s6j.
zb--- the brain. gao jie die lian. 'good morning i wake up alr!' realli great fren hu travel all the wae from boarding sch to my house in boon lay the day b4 chem paper to study wif me. dun tink i could have gt thru promos without u.
rz--- the crap. i can crap endlessly with this guy. always full of riduculous idea that suits my frequency.
eugene--- very nice n funny guy. a trustworthy guy.
special mention: stingray for uniting the class. i have nv seen the entire class sit together at the class bench to tok n laugh until stingray came along.
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tok thrash co.
FreKo--- the self proclaim player. garuntee to get any girl he wants according to him. although hes such a disgrace bt still a nice guy to crap wif.
jb---the only decent person among us 8. guai guai kia hu always get bullied. bt still he has a wae to get back ppl. real hard.
rat--- the name tells it all. sneaky bastard. dunno wad hes up to everytime. always full of surprises to brighten up anyones dae.
the rest: paul, kw, lt n josh--- soree no time to type bout u all cuz too insignificant.
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ex 4f peeps
noob you--- surprisingly became the closest fren to emerge from 4f. alwyas a nice guy to tok to whenever i have problems and things bugging me. daboyinthetank
dog yi n bp liang--- always count on dem to appear whenever im bored. full of crap and juicy gossips. too bad dog yi leaving. sian 1 less person to tok to in sch.
kiam--- a big man hu is always ready to give his honest thoughts n opinions.
2006 has been a bad yr for 4f. pretty much lost touch wif guys like mosquito, yu, lardo and others.
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loser bin--- another self proclaimed player of all girls. pedophile. always game for a movie anytime anywhere. and any crap movie oso will do. a guy capable of crapping even for his posing ways.
jason--- an avid soccer fan and true great fren. realli cares bout the ppl arnd him and love to niao ppl wif me.
fiong fan--- suddenly become very close wif him at the start of the year when i tot i lost contact wif him. always a listening year and a very loyal fren.
jess--- put ur name cuz u always read my blog. a nice girl bt soree i always tend to dao u.
smartgirl--- highly eccentric at times. bt always rdy to give a helping hand and listen to my senseless theories. for tt i realli want thank you. bt plz choose better guys in the future
sean--- helped me alot when i started learning guitar. without his help i would realli lose all confidence in playing guitar. a super nice guy bt realli too nice alr. ridiculous 1 year plan.
soh ping aka slave ping n genfuy--- the ultimate rubbish duo. nv fails to make me laugh whenever genfuy is being niaoed by soh ping. bt pretty subdued lately. oso muz thank genfuy for taking 174 home wif me even though he can take alot of buses. soh ping too for 'mugging' wif me.
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and finally to u yj. thanx for the time we spent together. its realli one wonderful experience and i enjoy every single second of it. the thought of u simply pulled me thru the darkest moments. i dun juz want to look back at these memories, i realli hope theres more to come and we can go against all odds.
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and thanx to those hu help me in 1 wae or another.
left silently at ... 6:07 AM
left silently at ... 6:07 AM
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Juz realise my entry was crap so juz post again. very disappointed with it myself so decided to post again.
Movies. They have been part of my life since i was young. I love watching movies. Action,Romance,Horror,Comedy,Animations i watch it all.
Heres a list of movies which is a must have in every collection:
1. Love Actually
My favourite movie. its a romantic comedy which narrates the story of 12 different people coming from totally different world. the movie shows how each of the every 12 characters walked into the lives of each other and unknowingly guide them to help find what they are looking for in life. its a movie about love between family, friends, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. it shows how fate brought people who never set eyes on each other into their lives and how christmas changed their lives altogether. it also boast an all star cast or hugh grant, emma thompson, rowan atkinson and many other household names. The soundtrack is also amazing.
2. The Breakfast Club
Its a fairly old movie. It was filmed a few years before i was even born. it was a cult hit back in the eighties and i find it very entertaining. the story begins with 6 teenagers who you will never ever see hanging out together coming back on a weekend for detention. there is a poser, a nerd, a beng, a geek, a sportsman, a bimbo. They are locked up in a roon for 6 hours and it ended with them finding out their true identity after a series of hilarious and exciting events.
3. Lord the Rings Trilogy
Need i say more?
4. Terminator 2 : Judgement Day
It was made in 1991 and 1 of my most unforgettable movies. terminator came back from the future to help save the world from destruction. its the movie that took sci-fi action film to a whole new level. it brings out the selfishness and darker side of man. overall its a pretty dark movie. try not to watch it when you are feeling down.
5. Alien
Mother of all horror and gore movies. Stunning visual effects given the fact it was made in the 1970s. A contreversial movie which sparked off debates most prominently the experience of abjection. It was juz horror the 1st time i saw it but got interested in its influence when i was reading bout it in secondary school. Check the movie out although some may find it unpleasant.
6. Mr Bean
Oh yes hu can forget him. never fails to make me laugh juz by looking at his face. the movie is freaking hilarious with him out to do dumb and rubbish stuffs in LA. destroying a multi million dollar painting, his antics at the police station, etc all promise to make you to laugh crazily. one of the funniest movie i have seen so far.
7. Druken Fist (Zui Quan)
i dunno if its the name bt it was acted by jackie chan very long ago. very nice movie. Standard kungfu movie how he gt defeated by the bad guy at 1st and ltr fought back. pure martial art skills with absolutely no special effects or what.
to be continued...
left silently at ... 6:11 AM
The story of Deverino
Main Characters: Rafael Benitez
Scala Deverino
Ferguson, Warnock, Mourinho
It all started with Rafa Benitez watching through videos of players that his scouts have gathered across the globe. Players who can run, jump, shoot, pass. Nothing impressive, most of his players can already do that with their eyes blindfolded. Then there was this very player. He combines strength with grace, speed with balance. At a mere 18 years of age, Scala Deverino is slowly evolving into the new age sensation. All that needs to be done now is to polish this piece of stone. Rafa brought him to Liverpool on a free transfer and signed a one year contract. Many thought Rafa had lost it when he brought Deverino over to his side. Rafa kept his faifth and became a personal mentor to this striker who has to adapt to an absolutely new environment.
Everyday Rafa would take time off his busy schedule to make sure Deverino is well and happy. A few months passed, Deverino slowly became a piece of precious gem. He became the joint top scorer of the Premier League with a tally of 25 goals in 30 games, a feat that all strikers would die to have. After spending a season in England, Deverino became one of the most sort of the strikers in the world. His estimated value is an astounding figure of 24 million. Rafa had been trying to persuade Deverino to extend his contract through the year but he rejected saying he needs to make sure Liverpool is the club to be in. The months passed and it is the time for Deverino to make a decision. Stay with the club that groomed to you to what you become today or go to a club for other benefits that will elude him if he stays on at Liverpool.
With the transfer windoe opening in a few weeks, rumours began to splash on the front page of every newspaper in town. Deverino was first spotted spending much of his personal time with Ferguson at the local gym. They seemed more than just people who wanted to know each other while working out. Then there was Mourinho who sent Deverino home after his daily training in the posh car of his sponsored by the sugar daddy. Warnock tried to be cute and charmed Deverino with his humour.
Rafa did not say much. He knows the attraction of what other clubs hold for Deverino. He knows how much Deverino wanted to move. But deep inside, Rafa always has the slight hope that Deverino will stay with the club. It was June. The feeling of guilt crawled into the heart of Deverino. He knows it would be mean if he move to other clubs at this point of time. Against his heart, he unwillingly stayed on.
Again, he impressed during the new season becoming the top scorer once more. This time it was Barcelona that came knocking on the door. Its not everyday Barcelona comes finding players and Deverino knows it. He knows other clubs will be dere drooling over his signature but not Barcelona. This makes Barcelona the most attractive club to be at now. He decided to be Liverpool as well as the rest of the clubs drooling over him on hold and started negotiating with Barcelona behind Rafa's back.
Poor Rafa, he still thought Deverino will remain loyal to him n the club after all he had been through. But this is the real world, things dun happen that way. People always pursue what they cant have. Deverino is the exact example. Barcelona played Deverino the way they wanted to. It was the eve of the end on the transfer window, Rafa decided to give it a try to have a heart to heart talk with Deverino. But he knows he dun stand much chance. How many Steven Gerrards can there be? None. Theres only Gerrard who can do a U-turn and suddenly decide not to transfer to Chelsea even when everything has been finalised. Now, he is the heart and soul of Liverpool. Deverino is no such player and Rafa knows that.
Finally, Rafa decided to let Deverino go. He wants no such player at Liverpool. He wants a player who can fully devote himself to the club and contribute to a club. Not a disloyal n distracted player who will play with regrets. Deverino was sold for 28 million and Rafa used that money to bring in 3 excellent young players who will shine in the future.
The End.
left silently at ... 5:37 AM
feeling pretty down lately. the mind's darting off in many different directions at any one time. i juz cant get it to stabilise and nt think bout rubbish for a moment. things juz dun seem to go my way at all. plae fifa i lose to birmingham, plae dota i lost to a bunch of noobs, plae soccer im a piece of crap, iceskating i move like a disabled old man. even when i plae my guitar 1 of strings juz break. this is juz nt my week at all.
I have recently taken up an interest in horoscope. when u enter all the specific details like where i was born , birth date all these kinda thing into some website call http://horoscopes.astrology.com/, the results are quite accurate. u all shld go try it if u all r bored. go click on the free readings tab. theres stuffs like friendships, love,parents,siblings. i asked some of frens to try it n all of them said its pretty accurate. i tried entering all the super specific details about in 1 particular reading like birth time, blood type and geological positioning. theres 1 funny thing tt came out bout me is tt i gt natural unique ability to understand another person's inner self even if i may nt notice what shirt they are wearing or if they are carrying bags or not. i tink its crap. maybe its due to my nature i will tink deeper into everything bt most of the time it is nt be accurate. juz leave things tt way and it would stop giving all those sleepless nites. letting things be as simple as it seems is a much desirable choice. i would always tend to dwell unconsciously into simple things and onli make myself sadder and worry in the progress.
sometimes its realli impt to obey the law of spiritual detachment. its like the more you try to cling onto smth, the harder it is for it the manifest naturally into ur life. so its inevitable tt you muz learn to let go at some point along the way no matter how hard it is.
everytime when im at home alone i always get this feeling of emptiness that is hard to shake off. sure i have lots of good friends i can talk to bt i juz cant bring myself to burden them wif these senseless problems of mine. sometimes burying it deep down may be a much much better option.
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Life is like a game of dota. It has so many similarities and links that I realize suddenly during this cold rainy week. It’s the process that really count in this game. Im nt saying winning and losing doesn’t matter bt it is the process tt realli matters after 1 good game of dota.
First of all, u can choose whether to go all random or all pick. If u choose all random, it will be unpredictable in the sense that u wun noe wad heroes u will b getting. in all pick, u will b choosing the heroes u r gd n confident wif using. In life its sort of the same thing too, either u choose to embark on the path of uncertainties bt exciting or walk along the safe path which the road ahead is clear bt boring.
Then deres the game itself. Either u choose to be the bastard farmer of the team or the team player. Each has its own pros n cons. Being a bastard farmer u will sacrifice the welfare of the team to empower yourself wif the experience n gold earned. With the money n level, u will be the one ppl look upon to change the face of the game. Pull it off n ppl will respect u, fail and u will get despised. Team player is often the common path chosen by many players. Safe and secure. U wun affect the outcome of the game. U r juz like the many roots of a tree tts hidden below the ground whereas a bastard is a trunk that people look at to c whether this entire tree is strong or nt. Its juz like getting a job in the future. Choose to be an entrepreneur and u will be like a bastard farmer. Either u earn the cash or u end up wif nothing. Be a good employee wif a standard n stable job, u wun go wrong bt its abit dull isn’t it.
When playing the game, players are separated into pros n noobs. Pros pawn the noobs. in a relationship, the pros are faster quicker and more experienced with the game so that they can pawn the noobs for their own pleasure. To level and gain gold. So the nxt time noobs will b hearing their name being mentioned in rejected or dumped or played with list in a truth or dare game. It’s the same thing isn’t it. The sense of dejection and stupidity when u hear HOLY SHIT booming from ur speaker and u r the dead hero. Noobs shld nv mess with the pros. The onli reason pros plae wif noobs is either they truly want to help them improve bt most of time is juz to prove they are a class higher than them. Out of boredom or juz feel like having fun, tts the time pros plae wif the noobs.
Sometimes u get the feeling the whole world is against you and the helpless feeling will naturally surface. Its like having all ur barracks raxed down and there are mega creeps. It would take a miracle to even survive for 5mins after mega creeps are formed let alone turn the tide arnd to win the game.
Many a times we make mistakes in life and make stupid wrong decisions. Buying battlefury for medusa, blink dagger for skeleton king. Ppl will remember them and use it against you for the entire lifetime. You juz wish to forget these anomalies in life bt it will cling on to u. it will b hard to let go n forget. Theres nth much u can do except letting time do its job n let tt bad piece of memory fade by itself.
nobody knows it hurts
left silently at ... 6:51 PM
Olano. Love him, hate him. Simple yet complex. Innocent yet scheming. Resent the implication of convolution: he is one living example. Be it paranoia or delusions, the real him has yet to been witnessed. He may dwell in precariousness but easily succumb to temptations and ill admonition. Considering him innocent is as good as beguiling myself. The use of the term scheming may be too strong a word. But opinions and impressions by many can give a judicious picture of the current situation. Rumours about the real Olano should not be ignored as well. Some say he is presumptuous, others beg to differ. 'Things will happen if you want them to' thats the quote from Gab the Great. This is the phrase that got me thinking. But for now, there is already is significant shift in my perception. [dun bother deciphering u will nv understand]
On to other stuffs, played soccer todae. Comical mou xiao was at his best todae. Running around wildly tackling the ball. His tribal dance like tricks and brianless comments were the highlight of the dae. His eccentricity acheived a new height when he blast the ball into his own net so as to tackle the ball away. I landed badly at one point and my ankle hurts like hell. Every step i take is super painful. Watched the prestige. its the kinda movies that try to be sophisticated bt end up having a crappy plot - its 1893 and ppl can clone each other. on the whole it was quite nice. death note is an excellent movie. i thought no other movies could be cooler than Ocean's Eleven or Infernal Affairs but death note is defintely not far form them. Geniuses battling out with each other and the whole movie is about them trying to outwit each other.
The week passed without anything memorable. the only thing that cheered me up was the fact i gt promoted. the happiness didnt last long. other than that im pretty contented to juz let time pass in monotony. dota totally lost its appeal to me. it juz doesnt seem fun anymore. Listening to songs has become a standard way to pass those cold and boring nites with nth to do and nth to plae. Although i have listened to english songs all my life, chinese songs seem to be much better than them now. im beginning to enjoy jay chou's songs more and more. the lyrics seem to narrate a beautiful tragedy. my fav among his numerous songs are undoubtedly he se mao yi and xin yu. beatuiful yet sad lyrics.
1 year passed juz like that. my class is ... my class. no better wae to describe. 6j is unique in its own ways. i have seen classes that was once very united and broken up and have alot of politics. 6j doesnt seem to have any conflict at all. ppl mind their own business and crap wif each other. the cliques doesnt seem to differ from tt at the starting of the year. 6j is realli smth tt carries me thru the difficult j1 year and im realli thankful for my class.
the road ahead has been blurred.
left silently at ... 2:36 AM
i am dashing
i like food
act seh kias
i am handsome
i am gorgeous
` Likes.
i like gaming
i like soccer
` Hates.
backstabbers
mugging nerds
write write write